Well Trained

I'm not married, and I am really good. I come already trained. I won't even kiss a girl without permission, even if she is under the mistletoe. I won't open a car door unless she tells me to. Don't want to hear, "I'm not an invalid." If I do get married, and I come home and see my wife crying, I know better than to ask, "Honey, how was your day?" I also know better than to take out the garbage until I'm told to. I also know that, if she has a cat, the cat is the boss. And, perhaps the most important; always keep the toilet seat down, and the lid up. Hopefully the cat will drown itself. >just kidding<. Never complain about not having enough covers when she pulls them all to her side of the bed. And if she has children, treat them like your own means: buy them candy, get them presents, but never discipline them like they are my own.

As you can see, I am well trained.